Bumper Stickers

  • Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
  • Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
  • I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
  • We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
  • He who laughs last thinks slowest!
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • "More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
  • Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
  • Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
  • Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
  • Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
  • What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
  • Assassins do it from behind.
  • If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
  • "Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
  • Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
  • Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
  • I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
  • The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
  • Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
  • The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
  • When there's a will, I want to be in it.
  • Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
  • Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
  • I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
  • We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
  • All generalizations are false.
  • Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  • "Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
  • Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up this floppy disk?
  • If you are psychic - think "HONK"

Submitted By: Anonymous

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Misc list