This guy is strolling through town, when he comes to a pet store. Having some time to kill, he walks in and starts looking around. The proprietor walks up and asks if he can help the man.

The man replies, "Nope. Just looking. Don't need a pet and couldn't keep one if I did. The wife would just kill me if I bought an animal."
The store owner says, "Well, I have some pretty special pets here. I'll bet I've got one that's right for you. How about this monkey?" With that he points to a chimp in a cage.
The customer says," Yeah, it's a monkey, but what would I do with a monkey?"
To this the store owner replied," Ahh, but she's special. C'mere girl show the man what you can do."

The owner opened the cage and the chimp ran over to the customer, unzipped his pants and proceeded to give him the best oral sex he ever had. After he had an orgasm and recovered his wits, the customer says excitedly, "HOW MUCH!?!"
The store owner says,"Kinda expensive. $2500."

Without another word, the man writes out a check for $2500 and heads home with his new acquisition. When he arrives home, his wife is in the living room and he calls to her, telling her to come see what he has bought.

When she gets to the hallway and sees the chimp, she yells, "A monkey! What the hell am I gonna do with a monkey?"
Calmly, the man looks at her and says,"You're gonna teach it to cook, then you're gonna pack your stuff and get the hell out."