How To Hunt An Elephant
- hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out
that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left.
- will attempt to prove the existence of
at least one unique elephant before proceeding to step 1 as a
- hunt elephants by exercising Algorithm A:
- Start at the Cape of Good Hope.
- Work northward in an orderly manner, traversing the continent
alternately east and west.
- During each traverse pass
- Catch each animal seen.
- Compare each animal caught to a known elephant.
- Stop when a
match is detected.
EXPERIENCED COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS
- modify Algorithm A by placing a
known elephant in Cairo to ensure that the algorithm will
ASSEMBLY LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS
- prefer to execute Algorithm A on
their hands and knees.
- do not need to go out and capture elephants
when they can retrieve them simply with an ad hoc query:
SELECT * FROM AFRICAN_CRITTERS
2 WHERE CRITTER_TYPE = 'TERRESTRIAL' 3 AND SIZE = 'LARGE' 4 AND COLOUR = 'GRAY'
5 AND TRUNK = 'YES'
6 AND ODOUR IS NOT NULL;
- hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching grey animals
random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or
15 percent of any previously observed elephant.
- hunt the first animal they see N times and call it an
- don't hunt elephants, and many have never hunted
at all, but they can be hired by the hour to advise those people
- don't hunt elephants, but they will share the elephants
you catch with the people who voted for them.
- VICE PRESIDENTS OF ENGINEERING, RESEARCH, AND DEVELOPMENT
- try hard
elephants, but their staffs are designed to prevent it. When the
president does get to hunt elephants, the staff will try to ensure
possible elephants are completely prehunted before the vice
them. If the vice president does see a non-pre-hunted elephant, (in
other words, a live one) the staff will:
- Compliment the vice president's keen eyesight
- Enlarge itself
prevent any recurrence
QUALITY ASSURANCE INSPECTORS
- ignore the elephants and look for
mistakes the other hunters made when they were packing the jeep.
- don't hunt elephants but spend their time selling
elephants they haven't caught, for delivery two days before the
SOFTWARE SALES PEOPLE
- ship the first thing they catch and write up
invoice for an elephant.
HARDWARE SALES PEOPLE
- catch rabbits, paint them grey, and sell them
Submitted By: Anonymous
This joke is rated: PG