Across the Andes by Frog
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Iquique, Jan. 19
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Expedition delayed by three days after the frog was squashed when I sat on
it. We wait around in the sultry heat of this coastal town whilst another
frog is found.
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Iquique, Jan. 21
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A perfect day to set off. The sunshine was bright, but a strongest
north-easterly wind kept us cool. The baggage porters had at last settled
their differences over pay, and the forecast was good. However, as soon as
I mounted the frog, I squashed it again. Oh, the frustrations! We must
reach the Andean foothills by mid-February, or the vicious South American
winter will set in.
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Iquique, Jan. 26
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I have tried mounting frogs without a saddle and even tried with my
haversack, but they always squash as soon as I sit down on them. Have
decided to try a different approach. I will walk and the frog can carry the
baggage. It will be hard work, especially in the mountains, but I would
rather suffer some discomfort than give up now.
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Iquique, Jan. 27
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The frog has proved incapable of carrying even the lightest hold-all. Seven
or eight were squashed in succession last night while we were trying to
load up.
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Iquique, Jan. 28
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Today, at last, we set out from the main square here in Iquique, on the
500-mile journey to Santa Cruz in Bolivia. The frog, unladen by any
baggage, set a furious pace, and we lost it through a hole in the wall not
ten yards from where we started.
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Iquique, Feb. 6
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The days pass by in a long frustrating week, whilst we design a special
frog harness. The Andean winter gets closer as every day goes by.
Conditions in the mountains could be hell.
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Iquique, Feb. 7
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The frogs are so slippery that any harness is almost impossible to fit.
They are sending to Belgium for a specialist.
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Iquique, March 30
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At last, the Belgian specialist has arrived. He says that frogs are totally
unsuitable for this type of journey. The man is a complete fraud. We refuse
to pay his return fare.
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Iquique, March 31
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Wake up with a huge Malaysian Leper Frog at my throat. The Belgian
specialist eventually calls it off, after we promise to pay his fare back.
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Iquique, March 32
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Decide to set off with frog in a box. The weather holds out, and we make
good progress. We reach the outskirts of Pozo almonte before I discover
someone has let the frog out of the box.
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Pozo Almonte, March 33
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I am beginning to have suspicions about my Chilean calendar.
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Pozo Almonte, March 34
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Success. I discover a frog in my lunch, so I put him in the box and set out
again.
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Iquique, March 35
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I misread the map. Simple mistake. Bump into the Belgian specialist in the
street. He hits me with a South American Singing Toad, which he was taking
to the vet. I report him to the RSPCA.
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Iquique, March 35
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RSPCA man arrives from London. He says he has called about a matter of
sixteen frogs squashed while under my care.
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Iquique, March 37
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How the frogs have let me down, making a mockery of the oft-repeated
maxim: "a man's best friend is his frog". Decide to take up a new challenge
with a more reliable creature. Decide to attempt the first crossing of the
Skaggerak by maggot.
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London, March 43
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So my Chilean calendar was right. It really is March 43rd.