| America (United States of) | A country located in the N. Western Hemisphere that is #1. |
|---|---|
| Bible | A sacred text that provides incontestable answers when thumped. |
| Birth Certificate | An official birth record required of all US Presidents, regardless of race, since 2008. |
| Capitalism | A system of economic organization that has never been attempted. |
| Christmas | A holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, now rarely celebrated due to persecution by atheists. |
| Compromise | (uncommon) A form of political suicide. |
| Coast (East) | A very bad coast of the continental United States. |
| Coast (West) | Another really inexcusable coast. |
| Communism | The belief that the government should ever do anything. |
| Condescending | Accurately informed. |
| Constitution (U.S.) | The hallowed founding document of the United States, the text of which must be interpreted strictly and amended immediately. |
| Corporations | Large people who are overtaxed. |
| Deficits | 1) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Democrats that threaten to bankrupt the country. 2) Fiscal shortfalls incurred by Republicans that don't matter. |
| Democrat | A political party. |
| Election | A method of selecting representatives, the fraudulence of which may be determined by the outcome. |
| Elitist | Qualified. |
| Endangered Species | Animals that have it coming. |
| Evolution | A theory of human origins that is out there. |
| Extremist (Liberal) | Espousing or adhering to political beliefs that are held by only a majority of Americans. |
| Fact | Information that has been verifiably posted to a RedState comment board. |
| Forest (National) | Trees that have it coming. |
| Gut | Region of the body from which decisions should be made. |
| Homosexuality | A membership-only lifestyle organization that perpetuates itself through youth recruitment. |
| Hitler | A man to whom it would be inappropriate to compare President Obama in spite of the many uncanny similarities. |
| Jesus | Charismatic religious leader and son of God; born in Bethlehem in the year 0; beliefs include love, charity, enhanced interrogation, privatized healthcare, elimination of the estate tax, and the right to carry concealed semiautomatic weapons. |
| League (Ivy) | an association of eight Eastern universities and colleges, the lack of a fancy education from which qualifies a candidate for political office. |
| Liberal | A person who should be rounded up and shot but not really. |
| Marxism | A political and economic philosophy developed by Karl Marx and promulgated by Paul Krugman. |
| Media (Mainstream) | Where you won't hear things. |
| Medicare | A fraudulent, socialistic boondoggle that is sacrosanct. |
| Mexicans | Brown people who have it coming. |
| Mountaintops | Ancient rock formations that have it coming. |
| Muslims | Brown people who have it coming. |
| News | Fox News |
| Obamacare | A Federally-mandated policy to address the national oversupply of grandparents through euthanasia. |
| Organic | Eaten by lesbians. |
| Party (Tea) | A grass-roots movement of patriotic Americans fighting for the principle of "No Taxation With Representation." |
| Poll | A survey used to determine, to within a margin of error, what percentage of Americans are right. |
| Poverty | The condition of having inadequate financial or material resources due to not trying hard enough. |
| Propaganda | The politically motivated dissemination of biased information, opinion, or data through its publication in the New York Times. |
| Punishment (Capital) | The legally authorized killing by the State of someone who is definitely guilty. |
| Racism | A form of discrimination that typically happens in reverse. |
| Regulation | Rules issued by a government agency for no reason. |
| Ronald Reagan | A fictional character based loosely on President Ronald Reagan. |
| Scientist | A person who employs a rigorous system of observation, experiment, measurement, and verification to perpetuate his Godless left-wing agenda. |
| Social Security | A redistributionist Ponzi scheme that is sacrosanct. |
| Socialism | An economic system invented by FDR. |
| Taxes | Levies imposed by the government that raise more revenue the lower they are. |
| Torture | A method of interrogation that does not rise to the level of torture. |
| Terrorist | A person to whom a person who threatens to destroy the U.S. economy unless his demands are met should not be compared. |
| Unbiased | Giving equal weight to both sides of the looking glass. |
| Wealthy (the) | People who earned every penny. |
| Up | A direction which, depending on circumstances, is down. |
| Warming (Global) | An anomalous, anthropogenic increase in the earth's atmospheric and oceanic temperatures that isn't happening. |
| Welfare | A government program to distribute Cadillacs to unwed mothers. |
| Yes | (no translation available) |
Submitted By: Mike B
Oct 26, 2011 09:09