Facts Of Life

  • Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they're OK, you're it.
  • Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer.
  • Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
  • A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn.
  • It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
  • Always remember to pillage BEFORE you burn.
  • If you are given on open-book exam, you will forget your book.
    COROLLARY: If you are given a take-home test, you will forget where you live.
  • The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  • Paul's Law: You can't fall off the floor.
  • The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
  • Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems. It's easy to criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid, too.
  • A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you feel happy to be on your way.
  • Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
  • Vital papers will demonstrate their vitality by moving from where you left them to where you can't find them.
  • Law of Probability Dispersal: Whatever it is that hits the fan will not be evenly distributed.

Submitted By: Anonymous

This joke is rated: PG
Tags: Misc list