A Dog Named Sex

Usually everyone who has a dog calls him Rover or something. I call mine "Sex".

Well, Sex is a very embarrassing name. One day I took Sex for a walk and he ran away from me. I spent hours looking for that dog. A cop came along and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said I was looking for Sex. My court case comes up next Thursday.

One day I went to City Hall to get a licence for Sex. The clerk asked me what I wanted, I told him I wanted a licence for Sex.
He said, "I would like to have one too!"
When I said, "But this is a dog," he said he didn't care what she looked like.
Then I said "You don't understand. I've had Sex since I was two years old."
He replied "You must have been a strong boy."

When I decided to get married I told the minister that I wanted to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding. I said "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole lifestyle revolves around Sex." He said he did not want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in a church. I told him everyone coming to the wedding would enjoy having Sex there. The next day we were married by the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church.

My wife and I took the dog along with us on the honeymoom. When I checked into the motel I told the clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and myself and a special room for Sex. The clerk said that every room in the Motel is for Sex. Then I said "You don't understand. Sex keeps me awake at night" and the clerk said "Me too."

One day I told my friend that I had Sex on TV. He said "Show off." I told him it was a contest and he told me I should have sold tickets.

When my wife and I separated we went to court to fight for custody of the dog.
I said "Your Honour, I had Sex before I was married."
The Judge said, "Me too."
When I told him that after I was married Sex had left me, he said "Me too."

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been married, divorced and had more trouble with that dog than I ever gambled for. Why just the other day when I went for my first visit with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?"
I replied, "Well, Sex has died and left my life. It's like losing a best friend and it's so lonely."
The doctor said "Look Mister, you and I both know that sex isn't man's best friend. Why not get yourself a dog."

Submitted By: Anonymous

This joke is rated: R