Things To Do In A College Shower
- Enter the stall. Shower for about 3 minutes, then scream really
loudly, exclaiming, "I didn't know I had one of THOSE!"
- Enter the stall, fully clothed. Do not undress and make sure your
clothes get all wet & soapy. Complain when leaving the bathroom that
your shirt tends to bleed all over.
- Ask Scottie to beam you up.
- Enter the stall, undress and then re-dress up as Superman. Leap out of
the stall, vengefully vow to stop Lex Luther's evil plot, then run full
force into the wall. Stand up, shake your head, and proceed to take your
- Bring a bottle of fake blood or ketchup into the shower with you.
Exclaim "Ow! You know, it really hurts when you pop one of those."
Then let the blood/ketchup seep down the drain for all to see.
- Bring in a rubber chicken. Get it all soapy, then toss in into the
next stall. Demand that the person in that stall return it to you, or
you will cast a voodoo curse on them. The next day, hang the chicken from
the bathroom lighting fixtures by a noose and stick numerous pins and
forks in it.
- Have a seizure. Bang against the walls of the stall really hard. Try
to knock them down. If anyone later asks if you are okay, just say that
you had some Mexican Jumping Fava Beans and they were reacting negatively
with your stomach.
- Stand in the bathroom, waiting for would-be shower-goers. When they
come in, tell them "not to do it" and ask them "not to give in to sin."
Wail mournfully when they step into the shower.
- Initiate a war with the person in the stall next to you. Use the
residue water on the floor as your battle medium, and float litte
battleships over to their side. If they kick them back or throw them
over the edge, exclaim that you didn't know they had the power of God and
sheepishly mumble prayers for the duration of your shower.
- Bring in a fake finger. Float it down the drainage "ditch." Ask if
someone would be so kind as to return it to you. If no one does, tell
them that the finger has been sacrificed to Satan and that the shower
stalls are now possessed. Hang Halloween decorations and crepe-paper
ghosts from them the next day.
- Bang your head against the stall wall, shouting "Redrum! Redrum!" in
your best groggy voice.
- Bring a Yoo-Hoo to the shower with you. Complain about a stomachache,
then moan "Ohhhh, um, uh-oh," and pour the Yoo-Hoo down the drain "ditch"
for all to see.
- Before you turn the shower on, make a noise like you are charging up
a proton pack from Ghostbusters. Before you turn it off, ask Egon to set
the trap up for you.
- Bring a balloon into the shower. Make the balloon squeak for the
duration of your bathing experience. Then pop it, and fall to the ground.
- Bring dead fish into the shower with you. Let them float down the
drainage "ditch," complaining about the quality of water these days.
- Hang up the names of different farm animals in the stalls. Have
everyone entering the stalls join you in a rendition of "Old McDonald
Had A Farm," making the sound of the animal in their stall.
- Turn the stall into a shrine for a pagan god. Call him Weeshy. Insist
that anyone who uses that stall must tithe to receive his benevolence and
glory. If they don't tithe, avoid them for the rest of your life.
- Take your shower like normal, and then begin screaming that the
Communists are taking over. Make battle sounds--including bombs,
and tanks. Towards the end, wearily declare victory. Leave wounded.
- Blow bubbles. Exclaim that you are dissolving.
- Bring in a bucket, fill it with water, and float a bar of soap in it.
Charge a fee for people to see the Wicked Witch of the West bathing nude.
Threaten anyone who laughs at you with flying monkeys.
- Start singing Pavarotti really loud. In the middle, stop, stutter for
a second, and then exclaim "Ohmigosh...do you know what these words REALLY mean?"
- Suck on the faucet head until you fill up with water. Complain that
the Seven Chinese Brothers get no respect, OR pretend to be a fountain.
- Wet your head, and then sneak into a toilet stall. Flush the bowl and
wait a minute. Walk out of the stall lurching, complaining about how
dizzy you are.
- Buy a bunch of those tiny animal-pills that expand into full, spongy
shapes when they get wet. Bring them into the shower and spill them into
the ditch. Ask somebody for your pills back, and when they hand you
animals, scream, slap them, and run away.
- Make your best Psycho noise (reeEENT reeEENT...).
- Try to get everyone in the other stalls to sing in four-part harmony
with you. If this actually works, change your voice part every three
- Become a shower-pirate. Loot other stalls of soap, Oxy pads, and Q-Tips.
Bury them under the tile floor. Fire cannons at people using toilet
- Bring scuba gear into the shower with you. Talk to Cousteau. Upon
tell everyone that the Titanic was actually torpedoed by the Germans.
- Hum for a couple of moments, stop, make an "Mmm!" sound, and then
to everyone that the mildew on the shower walls kind of tastes like
- Coat the floor in a fine layer of quick-drying cement.
- Hang "Marisa Cevasco steals Homecoming Queen Crown" signs in all the
stalls. If anyone asks who Marisa Cevasco is, call them ignorant and
ignore them for the rest of your life.
- Bring in Sesame Street bath books. Read them aloud. Giggle everytime
Bert walks in on Ernie bathing.
- Stare at people's feet as they bathe. If they do not wash their feet,
tell them to. If this happens a second time, steal their shoes and tell
them that they left on strike. If they DO wash their feet and fall down
while doing it, laugh hysterically.
- Stand outside the shower curtain, raise a harpoon, and shout "I'm
coming for you, Moby!" Run in and do battle with the faucet-head.
Walk out a pegleg.
- Charge a toll for people wanting to use the shower. If they complain,
light them on fire. THEN they'll pay.
Submitted By: Anonymous
This joke is rated: PG