None of less we do realize the critical importance of individuals being able to properly express their feelings when communicating with fellow employees. Therefore, a list of code phrase replacements has been compiled so proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive co-workers.
| OLD PHRASE | NEW PHRASE |
|---|---|
| No f---ing way! | I'm certain that's not feasible. |
| You've got to be s---ting me! | Really? |
| Tell someone who gives a f---! | Perhaps you should check with... |
| Ask me if I give a f---! | Of course I'm concerned. |
| It's not my f---ing problem! | I wasn't involved with that project |
| What the f---? | Interesting. |
| f--- it, it won't work! | I'm not sure I can implement this. |
| Why the f--- didn't you tell me that sooner? | I'll try to schedule that. |
| When the f--- do you expect me to do this? | Perhaps I can work late. |
| Who the f--- cares? | Are you sure this is a problem? |
| He's got his head up his ass! | He's not familiar with the problem. |
| Eat s---! | You don't say? |
| Eat s--- and die! | Excuse me? |
| Eat s--- and die motherf---er! | Excuse me, sir? |
| What the f--- do they want from my life? | They weren't happy with it? |
| Kiss my ass! | So you'd like my help with it? |
| f--- it, I'm on salary! | I don't think you understand. |
| Shove it up your ass! | I love a challenge. |
| Who the hell died and made you the boss? | You want me to take care of this? |
| Blow me! | I see. |
| Blow yourself! | Do you see? |
| Another f---ing meeting? | Yes, we really should discuss this. |
| I really don't give a s---! | I don't think it will be a problem. |
| He's a f---ing prick! | He's somewhat insensitive. |
| She's a ball-breaking bitch! | She's an aggressive go-getter. |
| You don't know what the f--- you're doing! | I think you could use more training. |
| This place is all f---ed up! | We're a little disorganized. |
Submitted By: Anonymous