There was a tic and a crab stnading on the sidewalk of a street. They were just hanging out when this gorgeous woman with a dog walks by.
The tic says to the crab, "You take the woman and i'll take the dog and we'll meet back here in 3 days." The crab goes for it. He leaves with the woman and the tic leaves with the dog.

3 days later the tic is standing on the sidewalk waiting on the crab, and the crab doesn't show up. The tic decides to wait another 3 days, the crab still doesn't show up. So, he waits another 3 days and finally the crab comes stumbling up, completely worn out and dragging ass.

The tic says, "man what happened to you?"
"Well," said the crab. "The woman took me home, the first thing she does is take a bath, I damned near drowned. Then she puts talken powder on, I damned near suffocated. We get ready to go out to the bar, once we get there the first thing she does is spill a beer in her lap. I got drunk, passed out and the next thing I know, I wake up in some truck driver's mustache on my way to Arkansas."