# I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Diplomatic Droid

### Parody of

*I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major General* by Gilbert and Sullivan

Parody lyrics by Unknown 02/21/97

**Threepio**:
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid

I'm fluent in the languages of Robot, Wookiee, humanoid,

A binary loadlifter does not pose the slightest mystery,

I know the rules of protocol and also human history.

I'm very well acquainted too, with matters mathematical,

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news --

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

*
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse*

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

**Threepio**:
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus,

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous;

In short, my masters find in me a reason to be overjoyed,

I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.

*
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse*

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

In short his masters find in he, etc.

**Threepio**:
I am the very model of a modern diplomatic droid;

Adventure is the sort of thing I'd hoped that I could quite avoid,

For droids who find adventure often find that they get melted down ,

Or shipped out to the Kessel mines and tiresome labor underground.

My counterpart excels at making trouble for the rest of us,

He lured me to the desert where the jawas soon molested us,

They sold us to some farmers, and before the passing of a day,

I had to tell my master that the little twerp had run away

*
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse*

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

He had to tell etc.

He had to tell etc.

He had to tell etc.

**Threepio**:
Now that were on the Death Star, and stormtroopers swarm the premises,

I'm hiding in the closet with that little Artoo nemesis;

And so I want to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets us both destroyed.

I was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.

*
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse*

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

And so he wants to make it clear 'ere Artoo gets them both destroyed,

He was the very model of a modern diplomatic droid.

garner

**Leia:** I love you.

**Han:** I know.

Later...

**Han:** I love you.

**Leia:** I know.

**Submitted By:** Matthew Wagonschnitzel

**E-Mail:** warpig@wam.umd.edu

**Homepage:** http://www.wam.umd.edu/~warpig

02/25/97