How To Shower Like A Woman
- Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
- Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to bathroom.
- Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and stick out your gut so that you can complain and whine even more about how you're getting fat.
- Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
- Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
- Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins.
- Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil... Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
- Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red raw.
- Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash
- Rinse conditioner off hair (this takes at least fifteen minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off).
- Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
- Scream loudly when your boyfriend/husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
- Turn off shower.
- Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex.
- Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small African country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
- Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found.
- Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
- If you see your boyfriend/husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
Also find out How To Shower Like A Man
Submitted By: Jenn Sarajian
Sep 2, 1999 08:58
This joke is rated: PG